A dear brother, Michael, inspired me to write about this subject after reading his blog entry.
As some of you know I just got married and you’re probably wondering what am I doing talking about being lonely. Hang in there and give me a shot.
I’ve never been a person to get ‘lonely’. While I enjoyed the company of others, I was just as happy doing things by myself – I’ve always been that way. I’ve been in lots of relationships and when they went bad, I moved on quickly with no baggage. (now you’re really wondering what I’m doing talking about this)
Fast-forward….When I received Jesus, and during the years following I wondered if He had someone special for me. I prayed about this and different men came into my life and I wondered if he was ‘the one’. Of course they weren’t and again, it didn’t bother me. I thought that being married was the Christian thing to do (and it is)- along with bearing children and so that’s really why I prayed. Deep down, I could take it or leave it.
So that lead me to examine myself and why I was that way. I thought that maybe I was just cold-hearted. After all, I’m not affectionate, not romantic in any way, not sentimental, see no point in celebrating birthdays (or anniversaries), and I hate flowers and candy. (flowers die and I’d much rather have a pizza)
Then it dawned on me…….
The closer I grew in the Lord I came to realize that although I wasn’t “lonely”, I wasn’t fulfilled. That’s probably what I was searching for (unbeknownst to me) by going out with all those different guys but I never found it. It was only when I had a close relationship with Jesus did I realize what true fulfillment meant. I used to spend ALL of my leisure with Him – I couldn’t get enough of Him. The amusements of this world was like a dry piece of toast in my mouth – all I wanted was to spend time with Him in prayer, reading, study, and sometimes I felt like I was sitting in class as the Holy Spirit ‘taught’ me things and revealed things to me. It was so exciting – no man could ever compare!
So after I realized that, I was perfectly happy not to find a love interest. As far as I was concerned it was me and Jesus. I was completely fulfilled in Jesus!
Well, obviously the Lord had another plan for me seeing that I’m married now but nothing has changed. I love my husband dearly but it is Jesus who loves me (and all of us) with a pure and holy love. It is Jesus who knows me better than my husband and myself. It is Jesus that I worship and adore. It is Jesus that I give enduring thanks for His many blessings, and for my salvation. It is Jesus who can sift through the murky depths of my heart and make me anew. It is His Holy Spirit that teaches me and comforts me. It is Jesus that corrects me gently and chastises me firmly when I need it. It is Jesus who has opened my eyes to the depths of my sins, enabling me to see my sins in all its hideousness. It was Jesus who enabled me to truly love and forgive my enemies. (and this is an abbreviated list)
So…my point is….
You can meet someone and get married, which is fine, and never be lonely again. But no one can compare to being in close fellowship Jesus. No man or woman can EVER fulfill you the way Jesus can – we simply don’t have that power or capability. If you want to be truly fulfilled, seek His face!