This topic was raised elsewhere by a Christian and caused me some concern so I wanted to put it here. This person gave suggestions on how to tell your daughters and wives they are pretty without following the world’s definition of beauty. While I think the author had good intentions, I think he is still succumbing to a worldly view. He suggests: (I only quoted relevant points)
1) “Don’t just tell your wife and daughters they are beautiful – show them with hugs, kisses, holding hands, taking them on dates. If all you do is tell the women in your life they are beautiful, but never show them, they won’t believe you.”
2) “Affirm them in ways not related to beauty. Women want to be valued and know that they are contributing. Being pretty helps them feel valued. This seems to work in reverse. Since they feel valued when they know they are pretty, if you help them to feel valued, they will also feel pretty. so find what your wife and daughters like to do, and constantly affirm them in it.”
3) Sometimes, a hobby or interest outside of self-beautification can help. Girls who love horses rarely spend lots of time brushing their own hair, but with brushing their horse. Mothers are the prime examples. Good mothers are consumed with caring for their children and rarely have much time to spend on themselves. This is not to say that horse lovers and mothers are not beautiful! To the contrary, they are often the most beautiful. Because self-focused attention creates fake beauty, while an outward focus allows true inner beauty to blossom and flourish.”
This is what I think….Respectfully, giving hugs and kisses, showing that they’re valued, and taking an interest in what they do, I feel, is a psychological tactic with a Christian spin. It is focused on how the individual FEELS and how they view themselves when it shouldn’t be about us at all, but Jesus!!! Nowhere is self-esteem taught in the Bible but quite the opposite – to be meek, humble, not of this world etc. God is not against beauty – in fact the whole world testifies to the beauty He has made. But when it comes to us, TRUE beauty, LASTING beauty, RELEVANT beauty is from the inside and reflects Christ, not ourselves.
What is true beauty?….
Virtue: Prov. 31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” This means to be morally excellent which is an excellent quality.
Loyalty: Prov. 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
Caretaker of the family: Prov 31:13-16 “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.”
Stength: Prov 31:17 “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneneth her arms.”
She is ministering: Prov 31:18-30 “She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” She is not self-serving – she remembers the poor.
She has wisdom: Prov 31:26 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom…” To use and apply knowledge rightly.
Kindness: Prov 31:26 “…and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Fear God: Prov 31:30 “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fereth the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Submission: Eph 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (also Col. 3:18)
Modest in dress: She hides the form of her body. Her clothes fully cover her nakedness. She does not dress in the attire of a harlot as mentioned in Prov. 7:10.
A few more are good works, charity, faith, being sober, loves her children, discreet, modest hair and jewelry, keeper of the home, meek spirited, and quiet spirit. This is the true, Biblical defintion of beauty when it comes to women. These are the things we should be impressing upon women, not the world’s definition of beauty. When we do all of these things, we are reflecting Jesus. It’s not about us, but Jesus!
Who do we want to be beautiful for? God or man? A person is truly beautiful when Christ is shining through them.
I just realized that I have a pic of me doing practically the same thing as the avatar. How wild is that??? 🙂