This post is not going to be about warning, rebuking, or scare tactics of any kind. I’m not going to give my opinions on false teachers, false teachings, or comment on the moral decay. I’m also not going to talk about twisted texts, seeming contradictions, or concern myself with the workings of Satan right now. Are you shocked? Me too!
Before you ask, yes this really is me, Carol. 🙂
The Lord has given me such a joy today and I didn’t want to spoil it with my usual spiel. And if I try to explain why exactly, you won’t get the full effect through mere words. So I’ll do the best I can.
I began to spend time with the Lord in prayer, confession, and Bible reading but honestly, my heart wasn’t in it. I was thinking that I’d rather be on the couch watching my animal shows. I was wondering if I was lukewarm and double minded (inspired by the post before this) because my lips were praising Him but my heart was far away. The last thing I wanted to be was a hypocrite. I also didn’t want my devotion time to be mechanical or something to just get over with because that’s not sincere. So I prayed about these things and confessed everything. After all, I can’t hide anything from Him.
So once I started praying I couldn’t stop. I hadn’t planned on praying for this but I found myself confessing that I don’t have the love for Him and for others that I should. I confessed that I put things in front of Him and that I spend time with Him when I have nothing better to do. I confessed that I am far away from Him which is my own doing and as a result I’ve noticed changes like my temper flaring up and my using cuss words. I confessed that I had a fighting type of attitude ready to strike at any one at any moment. I confessed that I lacked in so many areas that it made me question my salvation many times. I said that it’s not that I doubt Him because He cannot lie and His promises are not revoked. I question because I pull away from Him and I don’t know why. I’d rather be doing something stupid than spending time with Him. I question myself, my heart, my fruit and find myself to be wanting in so many areas. During this time, the words flowed and continued to flow with ease and without prior planning.
I continued. Suddenly I was reminded of past sins I had done that I had not confessed and more than that, I noticed that I was mortified when brought to my attention. There was a time when I took pride in some of my sins, even bragged about them but if I think of them now, I am ashamed and disgusted because I was so vile. I was a wreck after remembering these things and I confessed them and asked Him to forgive me. (this took awhile but I’m keeping it short for brevity’s sake)
Then my prayers took a turn…I was praising Him and thanking Him for changing my heart in this way. I was just shocked that He had changed me so much because I had struggled all my life in one particular area, and now I wonder how I ever could have done those things. I was in awe at His patience, His forgiveness and His love He has for me. He should have killed me off years ago yet He allowed me to breath another day! I kept praising Him and thanking Him for His mercy on me. Then I went on to praising Him for things He’s done for other people, even the Israelites during the Exodus crossing. (that’s my favorite story) I was filled with such a joy that I didn’t care who was around me and who was listening. (I was outside on my back deck) I couldn’t stop praising Him. If I hadn’t pulled my muscles on my elliptical machine yesterday, I would have jumped up and down for joy! Like I said, words cannot adequately express the joy the Lord has given me today! Just think what of an awesome God we serve! I sit on my deck surrounded by beautiful trees and birds are everywhere and I think to myself “wow, the Lord takes care of all these little birds and squirrels and provides homes for them all.’ I am just amazed at how He cares for all His living creatures and how He keeps the earth in perfect rotation and balance. His glory truly is proclaimed throughout the earth – just look around.
I am not one to get emotional over things nor do I manufacture them. And I’m always on an even keel – never super happy like today. That’s why I know that this is not my doing. (yes even through this, I examined myself) The realizations of past sins, the confession of them, the overwhelming gratitude for opening up my eyes and changing my heart, my praising Him for what He has done for me and for others, and recognizing His glory throughout the earth was from none other than the King Himself. Our glorious King, Master, and Ruler of all things! He deserves our unending praises because He is worthy!!! My greatest wish is to spend eternity at His feet praising Him! What an honor that would be!!!! So I say to you, Christian readers…don’t forget to give Him heartfelt, worshipful praise today for He is your God!
God bless you all!!!