If someone said to you, “God told me to marry you,” you’d probably laugh, or run, or think to yourself that that statement is more ridiculous than the tin foil hat they’re wearing! What’s more amazing is that there are some people that don’t test this with Scripture to determine if, in fact, they “heard” from God. Are believers being duped in the name of love?
There are instances where God providentially guided people to arrange a meeting like with Isaac, Rebecca, Leah, and Jacob.
And Hosea was told to marry a whore. But we’ve got to remember that just because it’s documented does not mean it’s instruction for us. If we fail to understand this, then we will do all manner of weirdness and sin like handle snakes, eat babies, and expect the donkey at the zoo to answer us.
There are guidelines the bible gives when picking a mate (or friend) and we would do well to follow them. But since this isn’t a study and the verses aren’t listed, I suggest you look them up.
Back to the lovelorn.
The reason why I bring this up is because this seems to be a common thing within the religious community. (by religion I mean Christianity and Messianics) My parents have either had their own ministry or attended ministries from Rockville, MD to Pittsburgh, PA and they say this “revelation” was very common. They couldn’t count how many times they’ve run into congregants who propagate this exact message! It’s really quite startling!
In my dad’s church, there was one man who made the same statement to almost every woman in the congregation: “God told me we’re supposed to marry and move to Turkey.” He didn’t know these women and never formally met them. And as a result, these women left because they were afraid of him. This man was eventually told to leave as well. Would God ever orchestrate events so as to drive people out from the assembly? Would He keep changing His mind or make mistakes as to whom this person is to marry? No – these do not match His character!
There was a married lady who attended my dad’s church, (and I knew this lady personally) and she believed she got a message from God. This message was to divorce her current husband and marry some guy off the internet from Morocco. She refused to listen to anyone in the congregation and defended her decision. She married the guy. (and he got his citizenship) She came to church a couple more times but then stopped completely and wants nothing to do with God. That was four years ago.
Would God tell her to break her marriage covenant for another one, then drive her away from Himself and the church? Again, No!
And most recently, a former friend of mine did almost the same thing as above. She is currently married (but he left her awhile ago) but God told this other guy that they were supposed to be married. Again, would God tell her to break her marriage covenant and marry this guy, essentially making her an adulteress and him a fornicator? No!
Think of this logically. God speaks to the husband – the head of the household usually. Why would God speak to a man who is not her head in matters regarding her? At the time they hadn’t met. (gotta love cyber-love) I asked her this and said that if God wanted her to know something, that He would tell her Himself. She said nothing. But then when the subject came up again months later, she claims that she DID hear from God. How convenient! Again, would God break up a marriage to establish a new one?
Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Will God break his own commandments? If God hates divorce, will He be the cause of it? Will God instruct people to become adulterous and then condemn them to hell? Will God cause anyone to draw away from Him? If we truly know and understand God, then we will already know these answers.
Satan’s Motive
I think I’ve figured out Satan’s motive, besides destroying families. He knows that we are designed with a need to love and be loved. He knows it’s built into our nature to seek out a companion because that’s how God made us. So it seems he’s using this against us in order to bring ungodly people into our lives in order to drive us further from God. If God can join people together, then surely Satan can too since he counterfeits God. He’s using our God-given desire for love to destroy us! How diabolical is that!!! And this is why we see so many people in the congregations saying “God told me…” in my opinion.
In closing, if our focus was TRULY on God instead of our own desires, then we wouldn’t deceive ourselves and rationalize our sins. If we truly love God, then we would also fear Him and the consequences of disobedience.
Boldly Proclaiming Christ 
You’ve been gone awhile Carol. Glad to see you’re posting again. Maybe those people don’t want to wait on the Lord or they are desperate. Either way it’s kinda sad.
This didn’t happen in my church but my friend said there was a man in his church that said the same thing. He also said he was a healer and a prophet but he never tried to prove it. Interesting synopsis on satans motive.
What is a marriage supposed to be?
Is it designed by God solely for companionship, to protect from adultery and to bear children?
By no means! Anyone who has ever read the Bible through will understand the marriage relationship is an under riding theme throughout the Bible. Marriage is the picture God uses to show the relationship of Christ to the Church.
We are the only creatures of God’s creation who were created in the image of God and our goal as believers is to strive to become more and more Christ-like.
Our marriages should be a picture to the world of how Christ and the Church relate. When we destroy that picture we have blasphemed the Lord. How do we destroy the picture to the world?
Divorce and remarriage is adultery. Christ will never leave the Church. Even when those in the Church have left and committed adultery Christ has always been there to take back his adulterous Bride.
The Bride has always been the same, the church. All through time, all through Jewish history and all through the Church age, the Bride has been the church which consists of those whom the Lord has called and the Holy Spirit has sealed, from the foundation of the world.
While I question John Piper on some issues this is as clear as it gets concerning marriage:
“One of the reasons that I have emphasized the ultimate meaning of marriage so much in this series is that the meaning of marriage is such that human beings cannot legitimately break it. The ultimate meaning of marriage is the representation of the covenant keeping love between Christ and his church. To live this truth and to show this truth is what it means, most deeply, to be married. This is the ultimate reason why marriage exists. There are other reasons, but this is the main one. Therefore, if Christ ever abandons and discards his church, then a man may divorce his wife. And if the blood-bought church, under the new covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may legitimately divorce her husband. But as long as Christ keeps his covenant with his bride, the church, and as long as the church, by the sustaining grace of God, remains the chosen people of Jesus Christ, then the very meaning of marriage will include: What God has joined, only God can separate, not man.”
Anyone who will ignore God’s commands to not divorce and particularly someone who says God told them to divorce their husband should question their salvation and test themselves. Satan is masquerading as an angel of light and deceiving any fool who will fall for it. Just because they call “Lord, Lord” won’t save them in the end. (Matthew 7:21) Ten “Christians” God Will Not Allow Into Heaven
When Christ divorces the Church, then and only then may these people divorce and remarry. Heaven forbid!
Berean Wife
While I agree with this opinion in the context you’ve used it in (i.e when what they think God is telling them is not in line with what we already know about God and his expectations of us, and his plans for us) there is also another side- Those who God is telling who to marry, but the devil is trying to plant seeds of doubt in their minds that it’s not God’s voice at all, but their own, and therefore they shouldn’t follow what God is trying to tell them. God told my husband that he was to marry me, and He told me shortly afterwards, but it was separate. My husband was not what I would consider at the time ‘my type’ I had a lot of boys after me and he wasn’t the best looking, or coolest, or most popular of them. He was though, the most Godly man i had ever met. The devil tried to tell me that it wasn’t God telling me to marry him, it was just my own wishes trying to convince myself it was God’s so I had a good enough reason to pursue it. However, if it was me who was choosing without God’s help I would’ve never in a million years chosen my husband, so I knew that the devil was lying. I didn’t even want to want my husband, because he was not my type, but I loved the Godly things in him and I began to realise that after 60 years of marriage that would be what would be left, not looks or things like that. I let go of the earthly things that didn’t matter and trusted God. I had always known that He had the perfect husband for me, the one that I was made for and that was made for me. When God started to suggest to me that it could be him, I was almost disappointed (would you believe!!) he wasn’t what I expected, I suppose. I expected the opposite to what he was, but I know that if I had what I’d expected, my marriage wouldn’t have lasted.
Everything God told me was in line with the scriptures. I prayed and prayed for months before I met my husband that I would soon meet my husband, and afterwards to ask whether or not he was my husband. I prayed that God would take it away if it was not from him, but it wasn’t taken away. I knew in my heart that I would marry him, and I trusted God!
So while some people try and pass off their own wishes as God’s as an excuse to pursue them, sometimes you try and tell yourself that God’s wishes aren’t God’s but yours, as an excuse not to pursue them. God is the most perfect matchmaker of all- who could choose a better husband for you than him? Pray constantly about any man you are considering pursuing a relationship with and God will tell you if it is right! He loves you!
I came across this blog when i did a search “God told me to marry a man i don;t want”. I guess I needed some level of encouragement. I wanted to know if there were any books I could read, like a biography of someone something like that occurred to, and what was the aftermath of it.
For me really, the doubt definitely is there…I am saying to myself, or the doubt in me said “Did I really hear God? Was that really God, or was it just me?” Even as I type, my words echo what Satan said to Eve, ‘did God really say you should eat from…..’ How ironic.
I don’t know how you pulled through, but I am struggling. Yes I got to know him, I started to like to some things about him, yes he is a very godly man. However other days, I am reminded he is not really what I wanted, it’s like I’d rather have another.
I am a firm believer of God speaking, in fact I have prayed about some men in the past that God told me specifically no, and only time told me, that yup God saved me from things. So I am sure God speaks to me. But this one was just so unexpected, the least person I could think or imagine. Not least in regard to his character, but just didn’t expect that ….after all the process I have been through of turning men I genuinely liked so that I could be obedient. I thought I was going to get a specific type of guy… in fact I was looking forward to who ever he was going to be. Now here I am…and I am like ???
I guess I’m a little bit frightened, what if this, or what if that…. what i wanted and expected was different. i’m a bit naughty in a way, the qualities i appreciated in him, if i had it a different man, someone just different, my naughty self is saying i’d be happy. But as Jesus said “…but not my will, but yours be done”. It’s not easy…..but He [God] is faithful
Hello Lucy. You have a little dilemma going on don’t you!?! Did you actually hear from God? And if so, how did you “hear” from Him? Or are you really not sure if you heard from Him? I’m not talking about events later proving that ‘he was not the one’ and taking that as a sign of “no” from God because trials bring us closer to God so we cannot go by that. There is much more to talk about. If you’d like, email me using the Contact form above and we’ll talk further. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
If you have all those questions and feeling afraid of this and that, these things right here should have brought you closer to your answer because God is not the author of confusion or fear.
HI Lucy, I typed the axact same words to find this blog. i would like to know what your situation at present. Well my dillema is better than yours if I were to compare. This guy that I believe that God told me is my future Husband is my ex who didn’t treat me very well. He is a christian but not born again. I have tried to ignore this even in my prayers and pretend I didn’t hear but recently when I was praying I felt that the presence of the Lord has left me. As I felt that void, it just hit me that I have ignored His word. Your response will be highly appreciated.
Dear Charlotte, I’m glad that you listened to the Lord and married the man God has picked out for you. 🙂 I was reminded of something that I had forgotten…I found an old journal of mine from years ago. I wrote down my thoughts, prayers, bible questions etc. Anyway, in one entry, I wrote that I wasn’t sure who I should be with because at the time, I was dating two men – nothing serious but I felt I should make up my mind. So I prayed about it and asked God to tell me which one I should date. I gave God the choices, #1 or #2 and I ‘heard’ Him say “Wait.” That’s it, one word – “wait.” So I waited. Three months later I met a man who is now my husband. When I met him, I didn’t think he was “the one.” But then one day, a few months later, we were driving somewhere and he was talking and then suddenly, I got this STRONG sense of KNOWING that he was the one God had picked for me. Out of the blue! Then it happened two more times as he was talking to me – this knowledge that he would one day be my husband. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind. And, I wasn’t looking for a husband then or even before so I knew it wasn’t wishful thinking on my part. So sure enough, we got married and he truly is a wonderful, Godly husband! The Lord had someone picked out just for me and for you also. 🙂 We are very blessed! 🙂
So yes, you’re right – there is another side to this. My original post was about God supposedly telling people to marry someone while sinning. Only those in darkness would ever claim that God has picked out a mate while they’re already married. Or claim that God told them to marry 10+ women.
My heart is deeply troubled, I remember a couple of years ago when I was so inlove with some guy and I prayed to God that I might marry him and as time went by I was so convinced that I actually was going to marry him. He was the perfect guy funny, loving, attractive and a man of God. What more could I possibly want and the thing is we were so alike it just brought joy to my life. Little did I know, shortly I started feeling as if this was only my hearts desires and not a blessing from God. I chose to just walk away and stop praying about this man. I became desparate and vulnerable in need of some sort of love. Praying that every perfect guy I meet I’ll marry and getting dissapointed each time. A year ago I started working at some other place and I would only be working there for a couple weeks. I told myself I’m not there to look for a guy or look for a pontential husband. I started working there and it was ok for awhile until one day when I was busy working with my face facing the ground, something told me to look up and I did and I heard a voice that was so clear saying “That is your husband, Just Be Still and patient while waiting for him.” I didn’t even smile about this 1. He was muslim 2. He was indian (I had told myself that nomatter what I do, an indian was not in the picture) 3. He had a beard 4. He was just not what I had in mind at ALL. I felt good about it cause I thought to myself that I am just telling myself all this and God would never do that to me and I prayed about it and he suddenly became interested in me… I fell for him, I still had it in my head that I would eventually stop praying about him and move on with my life. That didnt happen God said to me with a thought so loud ‘Bring him to heaven with you’ and I felt so sad that all this time I had been so arrogant and not realising the whole purpose of God wanting me to marry this guy. I am so convinced that he is to become my husband in such a way that even the slightest thought of giving up when I grow weary just brings sadness to my heart. I pray that one day He recieves salvation and He becomes the husband I need and that I become a good/great wife to him. All I do now is just hope and wait patiently for Him (God) to act.
Hello Phillipia, What a story! If God wants you to wait, then continue waiting. Don’t give it another thought – just continue life as usual and watch God move. The Lord didn’t speak to me but I had a deep sense of knowing that my then boyfriend would one day be my husband and I wasn’t really looking. And because I knew without any doubt, I wasn’t anxious at all. No thoughts of “is he the one?” or “did I really hear from God?” because I knew. So if you’re that sure, then just hang in there. And let me know WHEN he proposes. 🙂 Blessings. 🙂
Hello Carol, I would just like to thank you for the great relief that you have placed in my heart because I have just been reminded that God is not a man that He should lie. Its a great story that you have just shared and I thank God for you sharing it with me right when I needed to hear it the most. And WHEN I do get engaged you’ll be amongst the first few to know…. *cant stop smiLing* 🙂
In 1982 the Lord spoke to me about marrying my wife, we married in 7/83. We have been married now for over thirty years. I told God when I was 28 years old I wanted to get married he spoke to me when I was 32. I really didn’t know how God would lead me, so it shocked me when he spoke to me because she was not really my choice, that’s right. Plus God had given her a dream earlier that I was going to ask her to marry me. After we married seven months later we were arguing about something and we stopped and decided to pray. I prayed first, then she prayed. We also decided to tape our argument. Suddenly the spirit of prophesy came upon her and these are the words she spoke.
“I bind you strife you will not stay here in Jesus name. You will leave in the name of Jesus you spirit of contention. You will not be between my husband and my self, and I bind the spirit of divorce, I bind all marriage breaking spirits; you will not destroy my marriage , you will not destroy me, you will not destroy our peace, our love, and our contentment in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I loose it forth in the earth in Jesus name, that E G is my chosen husband of God he is God’s best for me in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. And it will go forth and bare fruit in the earth in Jesus name that our marriage is a marriage chosen by God. And that it is in his perfect will in Jesus name. It is a beautiful lovely marriage. It is a witness to the world. It is a ministry to the world in Jesus name. I loose it forth in the earth that we have all things abundantly flowing to us. We have finances abundantly flowing to us. We have homes abundantly flowing to us. We have peace and love and joy abundantly flowing to us in Jesus name. I loose it forth in the earth that my husband is blessed, my husband walks in the perfect will of my Father God. My husband is the chosen of God. He walks in all knowledge and truth. He walks in all harmony towards me in Jesus name. He is the head of this home in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. He is the king priest of this house in Jesus name. He is the chosen of God in the name of Jesus Christ. I am totally submitted to him as a service to our Father God in Jesus name. I a his chosen bride according to the perfect will of our Father God. And I walk beside him, as his helpmate sufficient for him according to God’s perfect will. I accept in in all things as he is in Jesus name. I find no fault no blemishes in him in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, for in God’s sight he is perfect. I see him as God sees him. I see him through the eyes of our Father. And I love hi with all perfect love, with all my total being in Jesus name. And we walk in total harmony in the name of Jesus. And it will go forth in the earth and bare fruit in Jesus name.” 2-15-84
When she finished the spirit of the Lord lifted off of her and she said , I need to destroy the tape because she didn’t want anyone listening to it. Then I realized that she didn’t realize what she had spoken. so I recorded the prophecy and destroyed the tape. After that word was given it seemed like all hell was loosed against us, yet God is faithful and true . God Bless.
Your wife’s entire “prophesy” is almost completely unbiblical and Pentacostal. Pentacostals misuse the Word of God and the Spiritual gifts and have a general lack of knowledge as to God’s character and how He operates.
First of all, she misuses the word “bind” as in ‘binding spirits.’ “Binding” and “casting out” are two different things. Search out the article “Binding and Loosing” on this blog and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
None of us are “perfect” because we are still wearing corruptible. Only when we resurrect and put on incorruption will we be perfect. Only when our flesh is “cut off” (dead just like Yeshua died) and rise, will we then be made perfect, spotless and without blemish.
There is not one instance in the bible where God rebukes a demon via a human being. God, or an apostle (a REAL apostle meaning a “sent one” from God Himself) always rebukes the demon directly. Your wife speaks with presumption and it’s of the flesh.
She also changes tenses – she goes from speaking FROM God, to speaking FROM HERSELF. If she is God’s mouthpiece and speaking what the Father tells her, then why would He say “I see him as God sees him?” and “I see him through the yes of our Father?” if He is the one talking?
I’m not entirely sure on this but from what I’ve read so far, I’ve only seen that prophets existed and prophesied in Israel only. (still searching that one out) Anyway, if God gives a word, the biblical model shows that it is in relation to Israel always. Even kings and rulers, it is always related to Israel. So why would God suddenly use some woman from the nations to rebuke a “marriage breaking spirit” (which doesn’t exist) when it doesn’t benefit anyone or show His glory since it’s obviously coming from her flesh?
I am not saying all of this to argue with you. I’m hoping that you will stop listening to man’s teachings and come out of ALL of this error that you believe. Pentacostalism is not the way – it leads astray. Read the “About” section of my blog and you’ll see some links that will get you pointed in the right direction.
A married man told me that God had told Him to marry me. This is after a tumultuous time in his marriage and the brink of divorce. I did not understand how God would tell a married man to marry someone else. This brought alot of shame on my part, mixed with anger and the feeling of obligation until I realised God does not force His hand upon anyone and if God spoke to Him, He would have done the same to me. The situation doesn’t honor God and I have great peace walking away. Thankyou for this piece it has shed a light on my situation.
Pat Penny,
I did not publish your comments because:
1) Your comments are unbiblical
2) They were hateful, accusatory, and presumptuous towards me in in many ways.
3) You are hypocritical in that you claimed I judge people when you are the one who judged me without knowing me personally. I assessed the situation of the previous poster – I did not attack them personally like you’ve done to me. (not to mention that you claim you “love” me at the end after you said I’m not close to God)
4) You think and reason like a Christian, parroting the same vapid arguments taught from your hireling pastors. I am not a Christian, I am a Netzari. Please read my About page.
5) This is my blog and I reserve the right to publish or not publish comments as I see fit. I’m not going to give you a platform in which to speak if you don’t know how to behave yourself and treat others kindly.
Please understand Pat, this blog does not come from or teach from a Christian perspective. It’s from a Hebraic perspective. Yeshua was Jewish, so were the TRUE apostles that Yeshua hand picked (not self-proclaimed apostles such as yourself and others) so what you see here you will not find in your churches. I encourage you to read the links found on my About page so that you can get some history into Christianity and how it differs from the followers of Yeshua.
Thank you.
Hi I have some questions if I choose to ask can this be confidential
Yes Michelle, if you use the Contact form in the navigation bar. 🙂
It is better for a man not to marry
_st peter the only married disciple
but such (those who choose marriage) will have trouble in the flesh